The Sensuality Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, making love carries enormous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready too).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , leading to powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, closeness, wellness, and love .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI straight from the source coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that much of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in metropolitan locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and see this reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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