The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex brings enormous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be good also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to very hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , causing powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, nearness, love, and well-being .

But when problems emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They more than likely would not admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that a lot of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay Get More Information males specifically in urban locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North adds, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.". click over here now
I do want to point out that chemistry is crucial. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the navigate here Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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