The Sex Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, making love brings enormous significance and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be great too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective sensations of attraction, excitement, love, well-being, and nearness .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, states that a number of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing click over here instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, goals, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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