The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex brings enormous significance and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to very difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, love, nearness, and wellness .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely would not confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that a lot of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in cities, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. Lots of gay men desire to find out from the starting if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often you could look here it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, worths, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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